Suicidal Wanjiku: How to Save Me From Myself.

Elections in Kenya are tense affair. Tense, yet somewhat entertaining. Social Media is always a buzz over the many roadside declarations and insults made by the goons seeking a chance to ‘serve’ the people. Traditional media outlets on the other hand, are out to report on the latest deal sharing agreements made by the said goons in a bid to secure “strongholds”. This is over and above the she-said-he-said nonsense reported daily on the bulletins. And poor old Wanjiku is glued to the screens/papers soaking it all in as entertainment! Keeping Up With Le Goons!

There are several reasons our election cycles come with all this fanfare and chaos. I’ll try focus on a few, while providing potential solutions that will, at best, not go beyond this piece. Major reason is the (My) Big Man Syndrome. This is the entitlement by tribal goons, who believe, and have convinced their sheep Wanjiku, that it’s their time to run the country. Case in point; our two headline acts, Dr WSR and Eng. RAO have pushed the narrative that their biggest qualification for the big seat is that it’s their turn. They have offered very little in terms of a plan for the country, other than it’s their god given right. This in turn, has led to the collapse of issue-based political debate both on the ground and on our Media. Its effects are worse on the ground! An MCA or MP cannot campaign successfully in their background if they’ve not aligned themselves with either of the two frontrunners. Worse still, if they are aligned to a frontrunner with whom their local Wanjiku doesn’t feel, his/her campaign is dead on arrival. Illustration: a person running for office in the North Rift is a non-starter if not aligned to Dr WSR even though their manifesto and qualifications are top-notch.

This is one of the main problems that plagued the 12th Parliament as it became the executive’s (extension of the Big Man) bitch. The house became more accountable to the Big Man than to Wanjiku rendering it useless in its mandate.

Again, this became worse when Jomo Jr. shook the hand of Eng. RAO, as now the opposition members of the house, beholden to their Big Man, did not create an effective counterbalance to the soiled majority party. Enter the 2022 election: Wanjiku, through the help of the highly inept Kenyan Media, is blinded by the two frontrunners as potential legislators rush to align themselves with the side that their respective Wanjikus seem to like. Ethnic nationality being of course a key factor! Local celebs and famous executives are also taking advantage of this blind spot given their easy access to the Big Men and their national appeal driven by the 4th Estate. A certain Kigeugeu seems to have opened this Pandora’s box quite successfully.

The Building Bridges Initiative

But we know all that. Wanjiku is the sort of insane ghel that does the same thing over and over and expecting different results. And that is why I (a Wanjiku) propose a radical change to the constitution to save Wanjiku from the problem identified above. It’s a bold experiment, as with all of Democracy, that I call The Building Bridges Initiative (TBBI) as it seeks to mend, create the bridge between employer and employee i.e. Wanjiku and Elected Officials. My propositions begin with the reinstatement of a 2-tier Parliamentary system of government. In the proposal, the Prime Minister is selected by the party/coalition with majority seats in the National Assembly and the Governor is selected by the party/coalition with majority seats in the County Assembly. This returns some of the power back to Wanjiku as she has only 2 elective positions to worry about, positions (MP and MCA) that are very close to her on the ground. This also returns power back to the Houses as the Big Man is also a legislator who can easily be challenged and kicked out when things are out of control, like having KES 2Bn being lost daily. Another expected result is the establishment of strong national parties that aim to achieve majority in the House and thus form government. Won’t this take us back to Big Man Syndrome, I hear you ask: Well, in this system, the Big Man would be a party leader who is also an MP/MCA. They’d be peers with other legislators and accountable to his/her constituency rather than the “entire country” (which enhances the image of the Big Man). As such, the Big Man’s leverage is removed.

Radical change number two is the introduction of a Head of State, President who maintains the sovereignty of the country. S/he will be elected after every 7 years as opposed to 5year terms the legislators go through. The Head of State will be elected from a Council of Elders voted for by each ethnic nation. Allow me to elaborate; every 7years, Wanjiku will retreat to their ethnic nations and elect among them an Elder to seat in the Council i.e. 44* Elders sitting in the Council of Elders. This is the official Mtu Wetu table. These Elders will then select amongst them, a Head of State who’ll serve as the President. The powers of the President will be to chair the Council of Elders, sign laws, lead national holidays, protect ethnic nations’ interests including preservation of culture and community resources. In the current scenario, Dr WSR, Eng. Tinga, Jomo Jr. and MaDVD would be ethnic nations’ Elders sitting on the Council of Elders. It would be up to them and the other 42* Elders to select the President.

Other Proposals

The Building Bridges Initiative I propose only caters for a fraction of what ails our governance institutions. Others I’d like to mention include Civic Education. Wanjiku is downright illiterate when it comes to matters Civics. An additional proposal to my Building Bridges Initiative is to have mandatory certification for voters having passed an IEBC led examination on Civics. This allows Wanjiku to make informed decisions and to vet candidates based on their qualification. As it stands, Wanjiku is conducting interviews for elective positions without knowing the job descriptions making elections a nothing short of a beauty contest.

The filtering process of candidates also ought to be strengthened. Just like any job, candidates of high moral and ethical standing should be allowed close to the ballot. Any candidate with outstanding legal battles, suspicion of misappropriation of public resources, past poor ethical decisions, hate speech allegations and poor Civic Examination results should not get a certificate allowing them to seek elective office. We should have candidates who represent the best in us. This is plain common sense! If you choose a driver from a pool of fishermen, the journey won’t go very far.

Lastly would be on campaign financing. Currently, elections are an expensive affair both to candidates and to the exchequer (in 2017 Kenya was ranked as having one of the most expensive elections in the WORLD). A few of the proposals made above would help reduce the costs of elections as candidates would be restricted to campaigning within their localities, and the election body is only tasked with counting 2 sets of ballots per election cycle. However, there is need to place constitutional limits on the amount of money a candidate may use in their bid for office. This would reduce bribery and vote buying, and Wanjiku becomes less hoodwinked by the flashing lights of candidates.

Conclusion

I am not voting in 2022. I know, sounds counter-productive. But these elections are chaotic; the candidates are hogwash; Wanjiku is blinded more than ever (included myself), and the 4th Estate is playing Eddie Hearn (boxing promoter) instead of informing the masses to improve their decision making. Its hopeless.

Why is Wanjiku suicidal? Because we never do what is necessary to change things. We dabble in the mediocre status-quo and hope Mungu will come through for us. It’s akin to allowing an inebriated driver on the wheel on Nakuru Highway and praying for journey mercies.